Breaking Social Etiquette

At the airport, after midnight, in an enourmous line to get a boarding pass, I was growing impatient. Wearing jeans for the first time in weeks I stood there uncomfortable. I wanted to change but not lose my place in line, and all travelers know that leaving your bags unattended at the airport is one of the top five airport sins. I think it´s between trying to pass through the medal detector with your shoes on, and not flying first-class when you weigh over 300 pounds.

Despite the four young women speaking Spanish behind me, the American couple in front of me, and the rest of the line I took action. I pulled shorts out and laid them neatly on my bag, and took off my shoes. Then right there in line dropped my pants, and put on my shorts. I faced forward as I did to avoid eye contact with the women behind me. The four latinas didn´t say anything, but I have a feeling they were thinking, ¨Those shorts do look more comfortable.¨

Sometimes you have to be assertive in this world.

On the flight to Honduras I was wedged between two sleeping men. Unable to sleep as I had hoped I began watching the movie. I saw John Malkovich portray a washed-up magician fighting to hold unto a career already over. It was one of those movies like, The Weather Man, or more recently the animated Coroline, that when finished you just ask yourself, ¨Why?¨

The flight was was six and half hours long. I had no watch, but I figured with one movie down I still had over four hours to go. I was even more awake now, and desired to use the bathroom. But I was stuck. The man on the aisle was asleep and looked like the type of guy that didn´t plan to use the bathroom (or speak or move) the entire flight. I´m not totally sure he was a real person. I contemplated calling an attendant to help ask him to move, but instead I took action. Sitting there awake in frustration in a dark plane with everyone else asleep counting the seconds for over four hours was a torture I didn´t want to experience.

Without shoes on I reached over and presssed down on the zombie´s far armrest to test if it could support my weight without interferring with him. Then, on an airplane, I climbed over a complete stranger without waking him up. I went to the bathroom, pulled out my drugs, and climbed back into my seat. Again the man was unaware. With a feeling of accomplishment, a smile on my face, an empty bladder, and drug assistance eventually I too nodded off.

Sometimes you have to be assertive in this world.