Sunday, February 22, 2009


One of my students has the following quote on her myspace page:

"Those that don't know me, think I'm quiet. People that know me, wish I was."

Thought of the Week

A recent tabloid on-line prompted me to wonder if "celebrity relationship" should be on our list of oxymorons.

Looking for an English tutor

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Diet Plan

Or Have One Baby

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Its Great to be a Guy

I remember when Stephanie was about six months pregnant with her first child she said to me excitedly, "Guess what? A woman in HR asked me how far along I was?" I responded back, "Really?!? How Fun! Is this the first time someone that didn't already know asked?" Dan, her husband, walked by and asked if I was sure I wasn't a chick. In a lot a ways I'm a really good girlfriend.

A few years ago I was living at my sister's for a short time. One day she saw me doing laundry. She had something she wanted washed so she asked, "How many loads are you doing?"
"What are you doing first?"
"The top of half."

Sometimes it is still nice be a guy. (She didn't have me wash anything for her.)

Thought of the Week: World Book 1984

Remember when we used to say things like, "Go look it up in the encyclopedia."?

Google Search Suggestion

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Hooray, Beer!

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman looked at him with disbelief, fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman looked at the Sctotsman in disbelief picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"

In honor of Super Bowl 43 these guys put together the top 43 beer commercials. If you're like me you'll dedicate 40 minutes of your life (spread out over 4 days) and watch all 43. Besides the two I posted I'll mention a few other favorites. You have to check out #19, the swear jar. #39, the answering machine. Jennifer Anniston in #5. Some classics I didn't mind watching again Coach Mora (#6), I threw a rock (#24), and one of the greatest commercials ever if seeing it for the first time #10. (and any commercial with the Red Stripe guy.) Hooray, Beer!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Women Drivers

Not to be too chauvinistic, but the one woman trying to park in the same spot for four minutes, and...
It was funny enough to make the video worth watching.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Still in my Twenties

A few years ago I ran the Bay to Breakers run (without enough training), and after the race I found myself sitting in someone else's apartment with ice on each of my knees. My comment at the time: "I'm not 24 anymore." (I think I was 26.)

Friday night I went to pizza and after ordering I scanned the place looking for a seat. In the adjacent room it appeared all the tables were full, and I noticed a few young girls occuypying some of them. Then my date commented that it looked like a sorority meeting was taking up that whole room. So I looked again. She was right. These were college girls. Here I am looking at a room full of young, attractive, college girls, and I didn't even notice. At first glance I thought they were high school students, and even after looking again they still looked just looked like kids. I must be getting older, and I'm still in my twenties. (I'm going to assume most of them were freshmen.)

I always hate it if an opponent can get a step on me. Even worse is the thought that that oppenent may not have been able to just five years ago. All of these thoughts, and I'm still in my twenties.

Last fall I played Ultimate every Wednesday, and sometimes I would play Thursday night as well. During the Thursday games I was noticing soreness in different parts of my body. I had to ask myself if I was getting too old to play back to back nights. Do I need more recovery time now? All of these thoughts, and I'm still in my twenties. (Also, I was flirting with a cute 22-year-old girl on my Wednesday team. I told her that we had a lot in common. We were both in our twenties, and...)

Last night the girl sitting next to me at dinner asked me if there were things I needed to check off my list before I entered the next decade. I didn't have anything. I don't feel like I need to jump out of a plane, shoot a deer, learn a third language, watch the first season of 24 on DVD, or learn to juggle by the time I am thirty. I guess I'm feeling copacetic about it. I'm looking forward to being in my thirties. Its about time I got some respect over here. Its a good thing too, because I don't have time learn a language by my birthday next month. For right now I do know this: I'm still in my twenties.

Thought of the Week

A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush, unless you think the probability of obtaining both birds in the bush is greater than 50%.
--Kevin Burrill

(I know I don't really need to sign my name for comments on my own blog, but I just thought I'd put it here to remind you this is one of my originals, in case you type it up to hang in your cubicle at work.)

Luminous Life Fail

Headline from last season

For those of you that don't know, the Yankees have
a pitcher named Chien-Ming Wang.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Vocab Augmentation

"...and I'm studying word lists to augment my vocabulary."
"I don't think studying word lists is really a good way to augment your vocabulary."
"Augment. I started with the A's."

I spent my junior high and high school years avoiding books and vocabulary words. I spent my college years trying to make up for it. In high school I would have never asked a teacher what a word meant, because I was too embarrassed about my lack of vocabulary. I thought it was likely a simple word and everyone in the room knew it but me. (It seems my students today overwhelmingly do not share similar reservations.) Once I reached my late teens and early twenties I diligently tried to learn every word I heard used orally. I figured if someone was saying aloud it was common enough that I should at least know its meaning.
Despite my embarrassment I was willing to ask my close friends about word meanings. So I may have said something like this, "I felt really strongly about it, but... What does ambivalent mean?" Then if I indeed had the correct word I would use it and continue.
One day my girlfriend and I were in the car on the way to Santa Cruz. I was trying to politely inquire about her current mood. I paused midsentence and asked, "What does temperamental mean?"

She just said, "Stop."

I think I had the right word.

Thought of the Week

All grocery store employees should get paid time and half if working during the Super Bowl.

Maximum Denial

I have a feeling Bethany voted Yes on Prop 8. "I am greatly concerned" that he might get this girl that I've never seen nor met pregnant. Wow.