Impact

This entry really isn't for the reader. It is for me. This is how I know I'm doing a good job. You don't have to keep reading. So often we, as teachers, don’t see the impact we make on the lives of our students. However, when I ask the kids to write me a letter at the end of the year I realize the impact I have made. I had a few kids this year I watched out for in particular. One I even signed the “parent signature” line on her grade report for other classes, because her parents were so disconnected. One I referred to the counselor and was the one adult he asked the counselor to share his personal information with. Some I didn’t realize I meant much to them until I read these letters. I admit I did make a few spelling and grammar corrections, but I tried to keep the integrity of these excerpts. While writing this I laughed a few times, cried four different times, and once again was reminded why I do this job. My inclination is to give background and responses for these, but I decided to just let the kids’ letters speak for themselves. So in no particular order, here is what they wrote me in June 2013:

Thank you for being an awesome math teacher! Math is one of my worst subjects, but you made this year really fun! I understood everything, even though it might’ve taken a while to get it. I really think I’ve grown not only as a mathematician, but as a person as well. Thanks again for making this year easy!

Let’s just say that this class was the only reason why I didn’t call my mom to get an early dismissal during lunch. You’re the best teacher I’ve ever had! Hope you enjoy your summer!

You have been an overall amazing algebra teacher this year. I’m really glad I got the honor to be in your class this year. You make algebra fun, and very easy, but I have to say you need to work on your hand writing… Overall, I loved your class and I’ll remember you and everything you taught and told me this year. You better be at my graduation in 2017 to listen to my valedictorian speech! You’re awesome Mr. Burrill. P.S. You better be at my high school graduation, I’ll be sure to include you and give you a shoutout.

You are an awesome teacher and you helped me when I was at my lowest. You helped me get over certain things and helped me become a great student. You are an awesome teacher and I hope you help more kids just like how you helped me.

At first you kind of scared me, you looked mean haha. You kind of are but you’re also nice. J Well thank you again for everything.

Last year I was totally lost in my pre-algebra class. I didn’t understand ANYTHING. But when I got put in your class, something in my mind clicked, and I understood everything that was taught. I feel like I aced the math CST, and that I have the ability to ace any other algebra test. Thank you for making learning fun!

You are a great guy. You are my favorite teacher ever. I hope you miss us. Even though your class next year won’t be as good, thinking of us will make it better.

I always looked forward to coming to your class. I’m going to miss you. I’ll try to visit you. I liked it when you said we were “wicked smart.” You were my favorite teacher (Don’t tell my other teachers. Shh!) Stay cool Mr. Burrill.

Overall you’re a pretty legit teacher. You made math really fun and easier to understand. I liked our intervention days. I learned some life lessons from those. I like your red shirt. Thank you for all your hard work on this class. P.S. I love how your class is always so cold!

One of my favorite things about this class is how you would tell us all these fun things about your life. Because if you asked me about other teachers I would say they were nice or okay. But you I could go on and on about all the funny things you told us.

I think out of all the teachers ive ever known, you taught me the most. I really enjoyed this class. It would be the class i’d look forward to. You really made every day fun. I really liked how you helped everyone with their problems. I hope my younger brother has you for algebra. He’d really like this class. Your one teacher ill remember my whole life.

This year, in your class i’ve learned many helpful and useful skills. You have taught us many life lessons that will help motivate ourselves to do the best we can. This class wasn’t just about algebra or grades, it was also about friendship, success, and adventure. I think you taught us in the best way possible by having fun during the lessons and using easy examples. You had a great attitude and always wanted your students to succeed, and never wanted anyone to fail or feel bad about themselves. The most valuable thing I have learned all year was to have fun while doing your best.

Down to my final respects, I know I haven’t been talking in your class that much, and that’s because I don’t feel like it. I don’t know how but you managed to respect that and not call on me. I will very much remember that. Don’t lose your awesomeness. Thanks for this year.

I didn’t expect to have so many life lessons. You really did help me with a lot of problems I’ve had this year. I don’t think I’ve ever had a teacher who cares about his students as much as you do. Thank you for all the support and help you have given me this year.

You’re the best teacher I’ve ever had. I wish there were more teachers like you. You didn’t only teach us math but you also taught us some life lessons. You make math simple. I love how you care about all your students. I won’t forget to visit you. I enjoyed all the test and quizzes you gave us and when we had no homework, I was sad. Thanks for everything you have taught us. Love you and hope you have the best summer.

I’m very thankful to have you as a teacher. You were one of the people that was there for me when no one else was. You helped me get through this school year. I’m very thankful for that... Anyways I’m going to miss you and a couple others next year, but I think I’m going to be more independent every year. From having close to no one to rely on to having a couple, then back to none is going to kind of hard to figure stuff out all by myself. But thanks for everything. I learned that it’s never too late to flip everything around. Thanks.

Also, I liked the way you taught us because you didn’t make it hard, or feel hard, and even the hard problems you made funny! I remember that day when I stayed in for lunch to complete a problem, that problem took up my entire paper, and equaled one!!!!

I really enjoyed this class. The jokes we all laughed about, the stories you told us about yourself. That brought us closer to each other- a connection. Its like we’re a family now- know a little about each one of us. We all had our good and bad moments in this class. There were points where I hated this class- but more of those where I couldn’t wait to get into this class and learn something new. I really liked the way you taught us. Some math teachers don’t really elaborate on a part, but you made sure we all understood. I’m really going to miss this class and my algebra teacher. Thank you for everything!

No one will ever teach like you do. You have your own style. For the kid’s sake, I hope you keep teaching the way you do now until you retire.

I know math next year is going to be easy because I learned from the best teacher.

I just wanna thank you for preparing us for the rest of our lives.

Hey! I would like to thank you for being a amazing teacher. When I first met you, I thought that you would be a mean teacher. But actually you’re very nice. You’re great at explaining problems. The only thing is your handrwriting lol, but sometimes I can read it.

It was so fun this year. It was just all chill. I wish all teachers are just chill just like you.

I love having you as one of my teachers. You’re outgoing, crazy, funny, and charismatic.

There are many things I liked about this class. The first thing is Fun Fridays. I like Fun Fridays because you can get a break from all of the work. Second thing is raffles. I liked the raffles because you can get cool stuff. The fourth thing is the field trips. I liked the field trips because you can learn more about collages and other places. The fifth thing is TRF. TRF helps me understand more how to do the problems. That’s all of the things I liked about your class.

We love you Mr. Burrill! You are my support system and make me feel like I have hope and someone who actually cares. Thank you so much.

I will miss everything about Einstein next year but I will miss your class the most. I will miss your jokes, stories, and most of all your methods of teaching us. I know as the time passes I’ll be another name you can’t remember, but right now, right in this moment I’m glad I can call you my teacher, role-model, and friend. Thank you. I can’t say it enough. Thank you, dankie, gracias, and merci, for a great year. 10-star notes probably saved my life. I know it saved a lot of blood.
 

Happy Hour

Sex or drugs?

My first instinct was sex. Why else would a guy be showing up at 3am to visit a girl that he hasn’t talked to for months? He was dressed normal, looked normal, spoke normal. If the interaction had been Thursday at 3pm instead of Thursday at 3am it might have seemed normal. As it was I was left wondering why this guy would come to visit Jessica Miller, who lived in my apartment previously, but hadn’t lived there for months. Jessica wasn’t exactly stable either. She “moved out” without even taking her things. After further consideration maybe it was drugs. If it was sex he wouldn’t still ask for her if I answered the door, right? Who is this guy? Maybe they used to get high together.

That was five years ago. At the end of 2008 Jessica wrote a crazy paranoid letter to several of our neighbors asking for help, but I never found out what happened to her. Click here to read my blog about the full incident of that Thursday night.

Last Wednesday a group of us went to happy hour and one of the girls invited a couple of her neighbors. She introduces us to the guys. Chris immediately says I looked familiar and asks me if I used to work as a bartender. Chris Webb. He is a good-looking guy, but I didn’t recognize him. After introductions we learned that each of us walked to the bar so we were discussing our respective home locations. Chris was familiar with my complex.

“The one just past the Chase Bank on the right next to the methadone clinic?”

“Yep, that’s the one.”

“I used to know a girl that lived there for quite a while.”

“Oh, yeah? What was her name?”

“Jessica.”

“Jessica Miller? Apartment 7.”

I know the number because that’s my place now. I actually had just thrown away a piece of mail addressed to Jessica on my way to the bar. Small world. Turns our Chris actually dated Jessica for quite some time. He said she wasn’t crazy back then. Possibly their break-up may have led to some of her craziness.

I even pulled out my phone and looked up my blog from September 20^th, 2008. I read everyone my story about the male visitor I had at 3am that Thursday night. Chris responded.

“Um. Yeah. That was me. When you first said it I thought it sounded like something I would do, but now that you read the story I’m pretty sure that was me. Sorry about that.”

Apparently he climbed over the gate. Apparently Jessica was quite a looker. So that’s why I seemed familiar. I knew I wasn’t a bartender.

Turns out it was sex.

Talking to the Phone

After a bad night of poker I was driving home and trying to have Siri help me text my girlfriend. This was our conversation:

Me: Text Steph

Siri: I can send a text to Steph for you, what would you like it to say?

Me: I didn't win one pot.

Siri: Your messages says, "I didn't win one hot." Ready to send it?

Me: Change it.

Siri: What would you like it to say?

Me. I    didn't   win   one    Pot.

Siri: Your message says, "I didn't win one hot:" Ready to send it?

Me. Change it.

Siri: What you would you like it to say?

Me.   I     didn't    win   one     POT. 

Siri: Your message says, "I didn't win one hot." Ready to send it?

Me. Change it.

Siri: What would you like it say?

Me: I am glad I have you.

When This Was?

One of my students is from Africa. English is his first language, but he speaks with an accent and is sometimes hard to understand. Periodically I post their grades on the wall and he was curious when I had last updated the wall.

After school during tutoring he pointed to the grades and, complete with his accent, asked, "When this was?"

Another girl in the room started laughing and unabashedly added: He just said "when this was."

I refrained from reacting until he responded, "What? Why is that funny?"

Flames

She was on her way to my house for the evening. I lit the three candles on my bedside table to help create a romantic and pleasant atmosphere. We had been dating a while now so things were relaxed and pleasant.

The two of us made are way to the bed and things were progressing nicely. Neither of us were paying particularly close attention to the arrangement of the bed’s pillows. All the sudden in the dimly lit room there was instantly a significant increase of light to my immediate left.

I don’t know why but I noticed the light before I noticed the heat. As I looked over my left shoulder I saw my pillow had quickly gone up in flames. I don’t know how big the flame actually was, but it looked huge. I immediately jumped up and grabbed the flaming pillow and ran into the bathroom. I threw it into the tub and turned on the water.

That was a mood killer.

She follows me into the bathroom laughing all the way. I admittedly was upset about losing my favorite pillow (the expensive one with the hole in the middle I bought from my chiropractor) and my matching pillow case. I wasn’t laughing.

In the end there was a slight mark on my bedside table, a slight stain on the bathtub, the loss of my pillow and pillow case, but the damage was minimal.

We opened up the house to let out the smoke and smell of the fire, and I don’t recall any more romantic activity continuing that evening.

The next day I considered cutting off the burned pillow and trying to salvage it, but I dropped it in the trash and bought another.

Mid-year Student Feedback

So every year just before Christmas I give my students feedback forms and reflection forms. This gives me feedback on the class and also forces them to think about their own interactions. I will provide the prompts and some of their responses.


My favorite part of the class is:

I like how Mr. Burrill picks on people. Another one is when Aaron isn't here to upset Mr. Burrill and get him angry.

How has your behavior and participation in class been? What motivated you to act that way?

I think my behavior is good and I'm your favorite student, and what motivates me is knowing I'm your favorite student.

On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your effort in the class.

5 or 7.

(Definitely not a six; that would be ridiculous.)

Overall my feelings about the class are:

Pretty good class. Talking here and there... Needs a little more work, but yeah, good class.

(Thank you so much for the compliment)

I don't really like math, but in this class it sorta makes sense.

How has being part of the AVID class helped you with your English skills?

How to right better sentances.

The vocabulary helped me seem more pretentious when talking to Mr. Boone.

In general, what really helps me in the classroom is:

I like that everyone gets picked on to answer problems, so that way you have to know what's going and that makes you wanna learn more. Because if you don't you'll look like an idiot.

having a good teacher that cares, want to help, and is funny. Kids don't show it very well, but not all of them are ingrates.

I have the most difficulty in Mr. Burrill's class when:

We learn new things and he doesn't explain it very well, or he explains it and it becomes even more complicated.

Tell me 3 things about yourself that are either interesting, important to you, or something you would like me to know.

I love swimming even though I can't swim.

I have the fear of getting staticly shocked (hormephobia).

Well, I like it when Mr. Valentine teaches (not saying your a bad teacher or anything like that) but Mr. Valentine is a teacher with more energy.

I like guns. I did third grade 3 times, and in K-3 I was getting A's in math.

I love reading. I'm a good drawer. I'm a good shot with a gun.

I'm not sure what to tell you but I don't like a lot of hw because it's difficult for me. I also have AdHd so I get distracted easy and I'm bipolar so I can frustrated easy. Oh and I like purple and neon green.

I have four pets: 1 dog, 2 cats and a bearded dragon.

My biggest bet peeve is the word portfolio.

I am easily... oh a puppy!

And my two gun children are in the same class. Just to make sure you know not all of them are ingrates I will share two more.

Everyone is this class is awesome! And even the hard problems get easier after an hour of learning.

Thank you for teaching me the ways of life. I will be sure to use them if I move. I wont' let myself down or my foster mom.

Being Principal

For homework my students had to write a story using their vocabularly words. The prompt was, "If I was principal..." One of my students wrote the story below. Somehow the principal, vice principal, a few other teachers and I all ended up janitors.

If I Were The Principal

by Deja Terrel

I paced my office trying to think about what to do with the pretentious janitor sitting in my newly imported suede office chair. Trying to keep order at Einstein Middle School, my school, has been getting harder and harder over the past few days since I became principal.

“So, Mr. Burrill, today you threw 2 students in trash cans, and as you know I can’t just let you infringe upon students’ space,” I paced to my desk and picked up the janitor’s file along with 3 others. “So you, Mr. Kerze, Ms. Leas, and Ms. Ruggerio have been repeatedly breaching contract, I keep trying to portray a healthy environment for kids to hang out free of homework, but you’re ruining it!”

The janitor looked at me. Just stared, and his 7 janitor friends Leas, Kerze, McKenna, Osteen, Pannu, Kirkland, and Ruggerio walked in nonchalantly, as if they ran the place. Janitor Kirkland walked over to my desk and dug his hand into my copious life-supply jar of M&M’s in such an inadequate way I wanted to throw him out. My body guards must have been proponents of my thought because as soon as his hand touched the jar three 7th graders stepped out of the corner.

“Boys calm down,” I said.

“You didn’t expect this did you!” said Mr. Burrill. “Although I did marvel at the idea of Mr. Kerze being a janitor it’s not right!”

“Well played Burrill, well played,” I said. “But there is no correlation between you and I, I’m Principal, you’re a janitor, I’m popular, you’re…”

“Well Burrill’s popular to us!” shouted Leas from the back of the room. “It would behoove you to give us our jobs back or this will get ugly.”

“ENOUGH!” I shouted. “No one is getting a job back, but I’m very adept at forgetting the past, see I don’t even remember how you guys got here, now get out!”

I had had enough. They were being so mean. I gave them a job when I didn’t even have a unanimous decision to, but 3/4th of the school wanted to throw them out. I waited for the rest of the janitors to exit and went to my desk. I was ready to make a very important announcement. Me performance as principal was better than mediocre, but it was time for my reign to come to an end. I knew I couldn’t stop this from happening, because after all you can’t stop the inevitable.

“Students of Albert Einstein Middle School this is your principal Déjà Terrell making an announcement. I will be resigning from my job, but before I do I want all of the students to trash the school. I’ve always thought art was the best way to express yourself, so today you’re going to be articulate, and express yourself all over school. You all have permission to get everything from eggs from the cafeteria, to paint from the janitor’s room, or as I’d like to say Burrill, Leas, Kerze, Pannu, Kirkland, Osteen, McKenna and Ruggerio’s former room. They’ll be appointed as teachers and principals again. I hope you all have a fantastic day. Goodbye,” I turned off the intercom, and slowly swirled out of my chair. I grabbed my briefcase and left the school on my Barbie bike.

Question 1

I've recently been working through some problems at work. That process included doing things like investigating long-term medical leaves, fantasizing about all the things I could be doing with my time if I wasn't working, and contacting my old boss. She was my principal for a couple years, she is now very high-up in a nearby district, and I know she has a lot of respect for me as educator.

I told her I had a few questions for her, but wanted to ask her off the record so I requested a personal e-mail address. I sent her an e-mail titled "Question 1."

The e-mail:

My first question for you:

I recognize that I have some attributes that make me a very good educator. I also know that I am cocky and stubborn. Do you think I am difficult to work with?

--Kevin

She wrote back:

And your second question? :)

Hobby

We all had various hobbies while we were in college. I played poker, played ultimate Frisbee, watched stand-up comedy, and picked up hitchhikers walking home from jail. Typical college stuff.

I still remember how it all began. At first I just saw a few other students sitting at the bus stop and I offered them a ride back in to town. Then one day I saw a couple of guys walking the side of the road. They were young adult males, white, tattoos, one of them wearing a wife-beater. I remember trying to describe it to my girlfriend at the time and as I struggled for words, “they weren’t exactly the type of guys…” she interrupted, “that you should pick up.” I responded, “Well, I wouldn’t have wanted you to pick them up.”

They hopped in to my 1986 Nissan pick-up with extra cab. One of them had to sit sideways in the back on the little square that folded down to make something resembling a seat. So I asked them with complete sincerity where they were coming from, and they responded, “We just got out of jail.”

At this point I hadn’t even realized I had passed a jail, so I paused before continuing the conversation. How should I respond here? Do I ask, “What were you in for?” Either one of these guys was significantly bigger than me, and there were two of them. Did I really want to know what they were in for? But… we only live once.

Turned out they were just in for some graffiti misdemeanor, or so they claimed. That was the start of my inmate education. I learned the cab ride back to town cost about $20. The prison that I had seen on the other side of the highway that we had yet to pass was a completely different facility. Little did I know that on my 6.5-mile daily commute to school I passed a prison and a jail.

That began my hobby of giving rides to convicts. Maybe another time I can tell you about the kid getting transferred from one jail to the next, or the time I picked up a couple, or the guy in for skipping out on a restaurant bill, or the time I picked up a 300-pound guy and another 6’4” guy on the same day, or…

Click here to read more about the SLO prison.

Moneyball-- the movie

“Why did he listen to you? What happened in there? Who are you?”

“Like I said, I’m Peter Brand.”

“I know your name. Tell me who you are.”

In this scene we learn a little about the person of Billy Beane (played by Brad Pitt), the general manager of the Oakland Athletics, and we meet Peter Brand (Jonah Hill). The two of them go on to create a philosophy that doesn’t just help the A’s succeed, but revolutionizes the game of baseball.

I read Michael Lewis’ book Moneyball several years ago. The book was fascinating. At least it was fascinating to me. It focused on statistical analysis, the inner workings of a baseball team, economics, numbers, and looking at essential baseball categories that are more likely to help you win games. He may have written the book just for me. I drove to the theater tonight wondering how a book for baseball and number geeks could be turned into a major motion picture with mass appeal.

Director Bennet Miller managed to pull it off with Moneyball. The drama was created in reality, but the movie highlighted the parts that made you want to keep watching. In 2002 early in the year the A’s were at the bottom of the standings. They changed their philosophy and their roster in an attempt to start winning games. I thought I saw something similar once in Major League, but this time the movie couldn’t write the ending. It was already written.

Could this team with its 40 million dollar payroll and poor start climb back into the playoffs? Could they pull off the longest winning streak in the history of baseball? And even if they did, would it matter if they didn’t go on to win the World Series? The drama was there. The movie depicted it. And Brad Pitt put together a brilliant performance that was so believable we forgot we were watching the star from Seven and Ocean’s 11, but rather watching Billy Beane, the general manager of the Oakland Athletics, trying to win baseball games.

The film was still about baseball. It was still about statistical analysis. But they managed to create it in a way that both baseball geeks and non-baseball fans could appreciate. If you’re not a baseball fan, there will be even more drama for you because you don’t know how the story ends. The writers couldn’t write the script with a storybook ending, because this ending actually happened.

Brad Pitt gestures with his hands as he says in the movie, “There are rich teams, and there are poor teams. Then there's 50 feet of crap. And then there's us.”

Go see Moneyball and find out if the team at the bottom can make it to the top.

Trader Joe's

Honestly, I was so tired I probably shouldn't have been on the road. First week back to work, second week of this new diet. I just needed a few things so I drove over to Trader Joe's.

I walked around not able to find my items. Was I so tired I couldn't see straight, or had they moved some things around in the store?

I couldn't find the broccoli. I was in produce. No broccoli. I looked for quite some time and finally gave and moved on to the next item on my list. I pushed my cart across the store peering down each aisle looking for the quinoa. Couldn't find it.

I got about five aisles away, which at Trader Joe's is pretty much the opposite side of the store, and a woman approached me, "Excuse me you have my cart."

I looked down. Sure enough. Not only was the one item in the cart different from the one item I had put in my cart, but her purse was sitting in the very top of the cart. I got all the way to the other side of the store without noticing.

"I'm very sorry. I'm really tired."

"I was extremely worried. I believe your cart is back in the produce section. You should eat some protein."

After I finally found the quinoa I went back to look for the broccoli again. I ran into the woman whose purse I tried to steal and asked her to help me find it.

I should eat some protein.

Marriage Plan

One night I was having a conversation with my grandpa, when he was in his mid-eighties, and the topic of marriage came up. He told me:

When your grandma and I got married we agreed that I would make all the big decisions, and she would make all the little decisions. We been married for 62 years now and so far there hasn't been any big decisions.

Grandpa on eating ice-cream.

Back to Back

My date arrived complete with black and orange fingernails and a shirt she made specifically for the game. She was quite excited about going to her first Giants game of the season. That was a Tuesday night so I’ll refer to her as Tuesday-night-girl.

It wasn’t until about the third inning when we were talking about ticket availability that she reluctantly mentioned she was also going to the game the next day with a male friend, a friend that “she has known for years and was like a brother.” Somehow during that whole discussion I managed not to mention that I was also going to the game the next day and taking another girl. Honestly, if I wasn’t taking her I would have spent the night in the area and not had to drive back again the next morning. So I was being a gentleman by not mentioning it.

For both games I was using my friend’s season tickets. The seats to our left were empty, as they often were, and the seats to our right were again occupied by a couple of sisters that rarely missed a game. I was quite surprised at another couple that showed up in the seventh inning to the seats to the left of the empty seats. Maybe they were from LA. It turned out to be a great game and we enjoyed a victory complete with a Brian Wilson save. All together a good first date. Not our first date, but my first date of the week.

Now I wasn’t cheating on anyone or anything, but I did wonder if I would be able to pull off going to both games without mentioning the other woman either day. I was also wondering if one of the sisters would say anything when they saw me arrive. Maybe something like, “nice to see you again so soon.” However, on the way to the park Wednesday she directly asked me who I went with the night before (initially, when I invited her I gave her a choice of the two games, but I didn’t know she would remember that) so I had to tell her about Tuesday-night-girl. The idea of running into Tuesday-night-girl at the game did give us a few laughs. However, she had standing-room-only seats and was out in the outfield somewhere so it was unlikely that would occur.

I didn’t see Tuesday-night-girl for a couple weeks. We were talking candidly and freely so I said, “Okay, I have confession to make. You know the night we went to the Giants game…” She cut me off, “You went again the next day, with another girl.” I paused. I had a look on my face like, “how could she know that?” She continued, “I saw you.”

Apparently, with a large crowd at AT&T is pretty hard to find decent standing-room-only seats. She remembered the empty seats to our left the night before and thought she would see if they were available again. They walked up to the section. She looked up and saw me with my date grabbed her friend and ran back down the tunnel.

Oops.

No Water

I turned the faucet. Nothing. I tried the other side, as if maybe only half the sink wasn’t working. Still nothing. They shut the water off again.

Running two and half miles along the river in the Sacramento heat: great. Getting home to find out the water was shut off in your entire complex: not great.

I didn’t even know what to do. I was hungry, but I couldn’t even wash my hands. I thought about walking over to the pizza place just to use their bathroom to wash up a little. Then I saw the maintenance guy and he said the water would be back on in just a few minutes. I questioned the actual length of "a few minutes."

I was so sweaty and smelly I didn’t really want to touch anything or do anything. I just sat there contemplating my next steps. After only a couple minutes I heard the water pouring out of my kitchen sink. I jumped up turned it off and headed straight for the shower. I had a 4:30 appointment on the other side of town; I needed to get going soon.

I was only in the shower a short while, long enough to wash my hair and face, and then I heard the water starting to wane. I quickly got my face in front of the faucet as the last bit of water came out the shower head. I managed to get the soap off the front of my face before it shut off completely.

There I was standing naked in the shower, still mostly dirty. I looked in the mirror to discover I still had soap in both ears. Now what? Should I go to pizza place with no shirt on and ask to use the bathroom to wash the soap suds out of my ears? I couldn’t wait forever. I found myself carefully pouring some water from a water bottle trying to wash the soap out of my ears.I only had about 8 oz. to work with.

I grabbed a towel and dried off a bit and stood there naked in my living room again contemplating my next move. As soon as I heard the water again I sprinted back into the shower. I fully rinsed off my head and ears. Then I took out the soap and carefully washed one body part at a time and rinsed it off before I continued with the soap. I finished my right arm and the water went off again.

I got out, dried off, and did notice that I was no longer omitting a distinctly foul smell. Now at least my hands and face were clean. I grabbed some food. Before I finished eating the water was back on again, but I no longer had time. I went to my 4:30 appointment without mentioning the adventure that it took me to get ready.