If I Were The Principal
by Deja Terrel
I paced my office trying to think about what to do with the pretentious janitor sitting in my newly imported suede office chair. Trying to keep order at Einstein Middle School, my school, has been getting harder and harder over the past few days since I became principal.
“So, Mr. Burrill, today you threw 2 students in trash cans, and as you know I can’t just let you infringe upon students’ space,” I paced to my desk and picked up the janitor’s file along with 3 others. “So you, Mr. Kerze, Ms. Leas, and Ms. Ruggerio have been repeatedly breaching contract, I keep trying to portray a healthy environment for kids to hang out free of homework, but you’re ruining it!”
The janitor looked at me. Just stared, and his 7 janitor friends Leas, Kerze, McKenna, Osteen, Pannu, Kirkland, and Ruggerio walked in nonchalantly, as if they ran the place. Janitor Kirkland walked over to my desk and dug his hand into my copious life-supply jar of M&M’s in such an inadequate way I wanted to throw him out. My body guards must have been proponents of my thought because as soon as his hand touched the jar three 7th graders stepped out of the corner.
“Boys calm down,” I said.
“You didn’t expect this did you!” said Mr. Burrill. “Although I did marvel at the idea of Mr. Kerze being a janitor it’s not right!”
“Well played Burrill, well played,” I said. “But there is no correlation between you and I, I’m Principal, you’re a janitor, I’m popular, you’re…”
“Well Burrill’s popular to us!” shouted Leas from the back of the room. “It would behoove you to give us our jobs back or this will get ugly.”
“ENOUGH!” I shouted. “No one is getting a job back, but I’m very adept at forgetting the past, see I don’t even remember how you guys got here, now get out!”
I had had enough. They were being so mean. I gave them a job when I didn’t even have a unanimous decision to, but 3/4th of the school wanted to throw them out. I waited for the rest of the janitors to exit and went to my desk. I was ready to make a very important announcement. Me performance as principal was better than mediocre, but it was time for my reign to come to an end. I knew I couldn’t stop this from happening, because after all you can’t stop the inevitable.
“Students of Albert Einstein Middle School this is your principal Déjà Terrell making an announcement. I will be resigning from my job, but before I do I want all of the students to trash the school. I’ve always thought art was the best way to express yourself, so today you’re going to be articulate, and express yourself all over school. You all have permission to get everything from eggs from the cafeteria, to paint from the janitor’s room, or as I’d like to say Burrill, Leas, Kerze, Pannu, Kirkland, Osteen, McKenna and Ruggerio’s former room. They’ll be appointed as teachers and principals again. I hope you all have a fantastic day. Goodbye,” I turned off the intercom, and slowly swirled out of my chair. I grabbed my briefcase and left the school on my Barbie bike.
1 comment:
I was expecting it to finish with something like, "Then I grabbed my briefcase and drove away in my porsche with the top down." aah, but no, the Barbie bike won it. Very creative.
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