When I was in the elementary school (I think the 5th grade) we were learning about improper fractions. My teacher told us they were like Dolly Parton, “bigger on the top half than the bottom.” I wasn’t familiar with Dolly Parton, nor did I get the reference. I remember thinking she must have been a fat woman. Years later I understand the comparison, but am not sure why I remember the comment.
When I was in the 2nd grade during our singing time we learned a new song that in chorus repeatedly told us to “do it.” Some of the boys were giggling every time we sang the words “do it.” I didn’t get why that was funny. On my classmates filled me in, “You don’t know what it means to do it?” I said no. He then explained it to me. “Do it, means to fart.” I laughed with the other boys the rest of the song, and we never sang that song again.
When I was about that same age my mom’s cousin, Tim, taught us, “… an old Chinese Proverb. He who goes to bed with itchy butt, wakes up with smelly finger.” We told our mom knowing that she would not approve, but with amnesty, because an adult told us it. Anything an adult did was appropriate.
When I was in middle school on the bus coming back from a church trip one of the kids explained to another peer that I was a good kid and probably didn’t know what “69” meant. Then she did a demonstration with two stuffed animals that were on the bus with us. I understood.
Friday I did a lesson for my students on why they should not do drugs. I began the lesson with a quote from Chef from Southpark. "There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called college."
Yesterday, at my graduation, the guy that delivered the unnecessarily long benediction spoke with an accent. When he mentioned the great “fock-all-tee” of your department I listened to grown adults, who just finished post-graduate degrees, snicker behind me.
I guess as you get older you understand more. You begin to recognize what the adults in your life were saying, and what they were trying to teach you. And you even find yourself trying to teach similar things to the youth in your life. And farts are still funny.
Posts
3 comments:
When you get married and have boys of your own you realize that farts are still funny, but your laughter has to be toned down until mom isn't around...
I have a "drug talk" powerpoint you can use if you like. It's definitely based on the same idea as the college thing, but emphasis on "wait till 25, because your brain is like wet cement until then." (lots of data on brain development going until 25... perhaps college drinking is the reason for all of the adult ADHD?) I obviously start out by saying that drugs are illegal and there is nothing I can say that should make it okay to break the law. Alcohol and cigarettes are legal before you turn 25 though, so this is a discussion worth having. Anyway, with the wet cement thing I point out that there will be booze available at the grocery store every day for the 80 more years they're going to live, so it's not like this is their one chance to try it, and that every day they keep it out of their brains lets the cement get a little harder. I also have a slide with the cost of a pricey rehab center and discuss what it means to spend $40,000 just to NOT do something. So even though they may know somebody who tried X, Y, or Z drug and is fine, if they think it's crazy to spend $40,000 to not do something then they haven't really seen an example of what that drug will do to you. Etc etc etc. Plus I have a slide about how rats, if you give them a level that gives them food and one that gives them drug, wont stop pushing the drug level long enough to press the food lever and will starve to death. Oh, and FYI: 14 years olds do not know what "crank a fat rail" means, no matter how punk they're dressed.
level = lever
weird repeated typo
Post a Comment