Selling the Car

I just posted this ad on Craigslist for my car:

Are you looking for a car that is safe, reliable, and has character? Then I have the perfect car just for you.

1999 Red Toyota Corolla, CE--176,000 miles.

This car has power locks, power steering, and an AM/FM radio complete with stock cassette player. So if you want to pop in your latest Bon Jovi tape go right ahead.

Also, there is a red flashing seatbelt sign for your safety. Even if you already have your seatbelt fastened it continues to blink just so you never forget to be safe.

Are you the type that is big on having child locks, but nervous you will forget to use them? Don't worry; just put your child on the driver's side of the car where there is no interior handle so the kid won't be able to get out even if you don't remember to have the doors locked. The safety of your child comes first.

Also, keeping you safe the car pulls slightly to the right. So if you accidently doze off at the wheel it will send you onto the right shoulder not into oncoming traffic. This is also convenient if you feel like changing lanes to the right, but are too lazy to move your hands. Just let go of the wheel and the car will move you over.

Despite having an excellent AC you or your passengers may be the type that prefers to drive with the windows cracked, which is great because the seal on the back right door is broken and it sounds like the window is always just a little bit cracked.

The glove box closes with ease, as long as you put a little something on it. Not too soft, not too hard, with a little practice you will close this thing just right.

When driving in the sun just lower your sun visor. Also, the visor occasionally falls at random times. This will make sure you, as a driver, are alert and not overreacting to sudden movements. After a few times of the visor falling on you while you're on the freeway you'll feel better prepared for whatever situation arises on the road.

You may think with all these amenities you might start to feel a little pretentious. Don't worry. The rear view mirror is hard to adjust and the driver door also does not have an interior handle. There is nothing that keeps you humble like parking your car, rolling down your window, and reaching your arm out to open the door. (Remember to roll the window back up before shutting off the car.)

Not enough room in your garage to park the car? Don't worry this car has been parked outside for years. It is used to it. You ain't going to make this paint job much worse. Permission to drive freely.

This car runs great! No accidents. Clean title. In ten years I've rarely had any problems with it. Believe me; I'm an honest guy.