Last month one of my kids was telling me about her parents and I asked her, "How come you turned out so well?" She responded, "Because I'm awesome." And she is awesome. Then the other day she was telling us about a her new favorites song she heard on the radio where the guy just kept saying "I'm awesome," but she was unable to recall any other lyrics. A few days later I heard the song on the radio and immediately recognized it.
The song is written by a guy from Maine who calls himself Spose. Listen to it before reading further.
Now with Spose as the new inspiration rap figure in my life, I decided to write my own version of "I'm awesome." I performed it for my second period on 3/26/10, 'cause I'm awesome.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thought of the Week
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
--Unknown
--Unknown
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Moment of Trepidation
Preface:
Today's post is not a humor column. So if you were looking for a light-hearted story for a laugh you'll have to wait for another week. But it is still true and real. So if you want to keep reading...
Story:
After a pretty good fall Dad decided to go again. He climbed back into the boat while we went back to pick up his other ski. I heard a thud against the boat and Dad let out a yell. Uncle Paul quickly ran to the back of the boat and jumped in to assist him. I feel like I’m constantly surrounded by people over-reacting, and I try to balance that out. Assuming my dad had run into the boat and my uncle was attending to him I stood in the boat nonchalantly until my cousin Shelley shelled at me, “Kevin, get in the water and help your father!” Until that point I hadn’t realized the gravity of the situation; I looked out behind the boat and didn’t see Dad at all.
I quickly jumped into the water and went under to assess the situation. I located him immediately. Thankfully, he wasn’t far from the surface. With his head less than a foot from the surface I just had to pull him up a little and everything would be fine. I grabbed on to his jacket with my left hand and grabbed the boat with my right arm so I had the leverage to pull him up.
Paul was on his left and I was on his right. With both of us pulling we still couldn’t get his head above the water. My cousin Shelley leaned over the back of the boat and cried out a prayer as Paul and I struggled to get is head above the water.
The next day upon hearing the story my sister replied, “Oh, I’m so glad Kevin was there. He always knows what to do.” Not today. I had no idea what to do. My dad was now inches from the surface and I didn’t know how to help him.
Fortunately, other people in my family thought to get the weight to the front of the boat. As the weight shifted to the front it raised the back of the boat just enough.
Paul had managed to wedge his leg into the motor so he had enough leverage to use both of his arms to help Dad. Paul was fighting. I was fighting. Dad was not. He wasn’t even moving at this point.
That’s when it happened. Probably the scariest moment of my life. For just a moment, as if time was operating in slow-motion… I can’t even describe the emotion. I knew we were pulling my dad up above the surface, but I did not know if he was dead or alive. As his head made it up to the surface he coughed. The struggle wasn’t over yet, but the fear subsided. Dad was going to make it.
My dad’s first words were, “Take off my suit.” His suit was so tangled in the prop that it was tying him to motor and holding him below the water. He and Paul had already tried to get it off, but were not able. At that point Paul told me he would take my dad’s weight while I worked on the suit. So he now held him up solo while I tried to set him free.
Somehow with Dad manipulating his body I was able to get his suit off, and we got him out and into the boat.
I wasn’t ready to see my dad go. Especially, not like that. Dad said God gave him a peace under the water that allowed him to be still.
That night I said to Shelley, “Hey, thanks for telling me to get in the water.” She grinned and nodded.
Today's post is not a humor column. So if you were looking for a light-hearted story for a laugh you'll have to wait for another week. But it is still true and real. So if you want to keep reading...
Story:
After a pretty good fall Dad decided to go again. He climbed back into the boat while we went back to pick up his other ski. I heard a thud against the boat and Dad let out a yell. Uncle Paul quickly ran to the back of the boat and jumped in to assist him. I feel like I’m constantly surrounded by people over-reacting, and I try to balance that out. Assuming my dad had run into the boat and my uncle was attending to him I stood in the boat nonchalantly until my cousin Shelley shelled at me, “Kevin, get in the water and help your father!” Until that point I hadn’t realized the gravity of the situation; I looked out behind the boat and didn’t see Dad at all.
I quickly jumped into the water and went under to assess the situation. I located him immediately. Thankfully, he wasn’t far from the surface. With his head less than a foot from the surface I just had to pull him up a little and everything would be fine. I grabbed on to his jacket with my left hand and grabbed the boat with my right arm so I had the leverage to pull him up.
Paul was on his left and I was on his right. With both of us pulling we still couldn’t get his head above the water. My cousin Shelley leaned over the back of the boat and cried out a prayer as Paul and I struggled to get is head above the water.
The next day upon hearing the story my sister replied, “Oh, I’m so glad Kevin was there. He always knows what to do.” Not today. I had no idea what to do. My dad was now inches from the surface and I didn’t know how to help him.
Fortunately, other people in my family thought to get the weight to the front of the boat. As the weight shifted to the front it raised the back of the boat just enough.
Paul had managed to wedge his leg into the motor so he had enough leverage to use both of his arms to help Dad. Paul was fighting. I was fighting. Dad was not. He wasn’t even moving at this point.
That’s when it happened. Probably the scariest moment of my life. For just a moment, as if time was operating in slow-motion… I can’t even describe the emotion. I knew we were pulling my dad up above the surface, but I did not know if he was dead or alive. As his head made it up to the surface he coughed. The struggle wasn’t over yet, but the fear subsided. Dad was going to make it.
My dad’s first words were, “Take off my suit.” His suit was so tangled in the prop that it was tying him to motor and holding him below the water. He and Paul had already tried to get it off, but were not able. At that point Paul told me he would take my dad’s weight while I worked on the suit. So he now held him up solo while I tried to set him free.
Somehow with Dad manipulating his body I was able to get his suit off, and we got him out and into the boat.
I wasn’t ready to see my dad go. Especially, not like that. Dad said God gave him a peace under the water that allowed him to be still.
That night I said to Shelley, “Hey, thanks for telling me to get in the water.” She grinned and nodded.
High Spirits sans Spirits
I picked up Heather Wednesday night to go out and said to her, "My blood alcohol level is low, but my spirits are high."
She thought that was pretty funny.
She thought that was pretty funny.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
From Fred Savage to Math
It turns out Danica McKellar (Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years) grew up and decided to write math books targeted for 13-year-old girls.
Sexy photos like this one used to market her books and peek my personal interest led me to also learn that she recently married in 2009.
I won't likely be buying a class set anytime soon, but it was interesting to learn about her endeavor geared toward our female students.
Sexy photos like this one used to market her books and peek my personal interest led me to also learn that she recently married in 2009.
I won't likely be buying a class set anytime soon, but it was interesting to learn about her endeavor geared toward our female students.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Pizza Special
The other day Gio and I decided to order some pizza while we watched the game. We found a Round Table coupon for a double pepperoni for $10.99. We agreed that we would prefer two toppings and decided to go with pepperoni and pineapple. I didn’t hear the beginning of the call, but I walked in and could at least hear his side of the conversation.
“We would like to get the special and add pineapple.”
“Oh, you can’t add a topping to the special? Can I just get a side of pineapples then? Maybe you can put them in a bowl or something and I could later apply them to the pizza myself.”
“Oh, you don’t sell sides either.” (pause for brief deliberation with me.)
“Well how much is it to just order a pepperoni and pineapple pizza?”
“TWENTY-ONE DOLLARS?!!?!”
“Okay. We’ll get just the special then. One large double pepperoni pizza with extra sauce… and a side of pineapples.”
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