Talking to the Phone

After a bad night of poker I was driving home and trying to have Siri help me text my girlfriend. This was our conversation:

Me: Text Steph

Siri: I can send a text to Steph for you, what would you like it to say?

Me: I didn't win one pot.

Siri: Your messages says, "I didn't win one hot." Ready to send it?

Me: Change it.

Siri: What would you like it to say?

Me. I    didn't   win   one    Pot.

Siri: Your message says, "I didn't win one hot:" Ready to send it?

Me. Change it.

Siri: What you would you like it to say?

Me.   I     didn't    win   one     POT. 

Siri: Your message says, "I didn't win one hot." Ready to send it?

Me. Change it.

Siri: What would you like it say?

Me: I am glad I have you.

Drive-Thru

I attended my first drive-thru wedding this year. Ceremony performed while we were sitting in the car.

Marriage Plan

One night I was having a conversation with my grandpa, when he was in his mid-eighties, and the topic of marriage came up. He told me:

When your grandma and I got married we agreed that I would make all the big decisions, and she would make all the little decisions. We been married for 62 years now and so far there hasn't been any big decisions.

Grandpa on eating ice-cream.

Negative Spin

The other day I looked up the word "marital" on dictionary.com. Above the definition were some advertisements. The top ad was from reliabledivorce.com.

And the dictionary example phrase was "marital discord."

The next word I looked up was harmony, and it didn't even mention marriage.

Thought of the Week

When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
--Rita Rudner

Craig and Vickie

When I was 17 years old I wrote this poem for my sister and her husband, and I read it at their wedding.

Craig and Vickie

As soon as they met they knew it was right
I sure am glad they went to the show that night
Craig didn't know going to a movie was going to get him a wife
And "Clear and Present Danger" isn't describing his new life
So they exchanged numbers and planned the next time to meet
And it just so happened that Craig lived right down the street

Now I know a lot of you are having trouble with the nae
Don't feel bad because nobody says it the same
Even family members disagree
But I think we have decided it's "Musni"

Now I know the living situation has been very odd
'Cause we never know who's living with Ginny and Rod
Understanding this is just a little tricky
Craig moved in and out went Vickie
Then Vickie came back for a her final stay
All this was while Derek was away
Now Craig had moved out, but it was okay
Because we saw him more often this way
Now Derek's home, so I guess we got a good deal

But we still see Craig and Vickie when the need a good meal

Both of them have been without jobs, but now it's cool
Cause Craig's working at Apple and Vickie's teaching school
But they did have to tell the Jeep good-bye
It's gone now, but hey, let's not cry

Craig will be a great husband; he's sensible and stable
And now that he's with Vick, we got his pool table
Craig and I have bonded, and he's a terrific guy
Whether it's playing pool, or skiing, or just a quick "hi"
Or sometimes we discuss the new Deep Thought
Flippy and Hambone, it's a good story, the rest I forgot
Acutally Craig and Vickie are perfect for each other
Listen to how she describes my new brother
He's helpful, encouraging, and believes in what I do
He's very patient with me, and he's very clever to
He puts gas in my car, and he even cooks
He doesn't always hear, but at least he always looks
Craig is just the opposite of what I'd call a Scrooge
And he's quick to comment when we're feeling "huge"
He even convinced Vickie to join the gym
And nobody else could have done that but him
Craig, I'm glad you chose my sister, I'm really glad you met her
And to tell you the truth, she couldn't have done any better

Before Craig popped the question, and got down on his knees
He asked my parents for permission, and they said, "take her, please!"
All joking aside...these are two of the most wonderful people I know
And it will be great to watch their marriage grow

When you look at Vickie, you see a friendly face
She's accepting to everyone, of any culture or race
When she puts her mind to something it doesn't take long
Because she's committed, determined, and head strong

Now Vickie's been my sister about my whole life
I guess I never really pictured her as being a wife
Now she's teaching students that are as old as me
So I guess she's not the girl that she used to be
I remember back when she used to tell me the bad stuff she did
But of course that wasn't much cause she was such a good kid
Now Vickie's always been my sister, but she's my friend too
And Vickie, I want you to know...that we all love you
And today your family isn't telling you good-bye
But we want you to know that Craig's one lucky guy

Pic of the Week: Josh

At Karri's Wedding.

Thought of the Week

"If you're clever you'll get the last word. If you're really clever you won't use it."
--Stephanie Riordan
(Giving marital advice to her best during the toast at the wedding)

The Bride

Best bride pic I've taken.

The Groom

This is my buddy, Brian, at the end of his wedding reception.